You are Nick Clegg

Oh, did you think you were Harry, the Boy Who Lived and our hero? Nope. You’re Nick Clegg.

Maybe you thought you were brave, intelligent Hermione? Definitely not. You’re Nick Clegg.

Maybe you thought you were the plucky comic relief Ron? But you’re not Ron. You are Nick Clegg.

Pictured above. You.

‘But Nick Clegg isn’t a Harry Potter character’ you say. The hell he’s not. The magical world has contact with the muggle world, and the Ministry of Magic contacts the muggle Prime Minister. Why would they not contact the muggle Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, who is the Harry Potter character that you are?

‘But Harry Potter is set in the nineties. Nick Clegg wasn’t even in parliament then.’ The Epilogue is set in 2017 smart guy. That means the novels encompass the Coalition years. Nick Clegg is a Harry Potter character, and you are Nick Clegg.

Nick Clegg, Harry Potter character and the person you are

Maybe you thought you were Luna or Neville, or even Malfoy? You’re none of those people. You are Nick Clegg.

Maybe you thought you were even Voldemort? You’re not Voldemort. You are the upper middle class Tony Blair clone who compromised his position on university tuition fees to prop up the Conservative government from 2010-2015.

You are Nick Clegg.

You. Are. Nick. Clegg!

Accept it.