GoT (or the Song of Mice & Mire or whatever)

The Real Game of Thrones! Meet the Daenerys Targaryens Who Are Being Inspired to Be Self-Entitled Blonde Girls Abroad.

Wow, if this doesn’t make you happy then I don’t know what will. Thanks to the example of Daenerys Targareyn, blonde girls everywhere (but mainly the USA and Britain) are being inspired to go abroad and then act really self-entitled and become furious when people either aren’t impressed or point out that just because her dad was a powerful person that doesn’t mean they have to give a fuck about her. This is the power of literature guys. The power to inspire.

‘I just really felt that Daenerys spoke to me.’ said ‘Vicky’, who is trying to cover up that her name is Victoria. ‘I’m blonde and white and very self-entitled. I felt that Daenerys really gave me the inspiration to go abroad and shout at foreign people when they didn’t immediately acknowledge my perception of self-importance. When people wouldn’t just hand over boats, or engage in risky ventures of overthrowing established governments in neighbouring countries because she asked them to and pointed out that her daddy used to be king, I totally identified. I wanted a table at a restaurant and demanded that they give me one that a family was eating at, and they refused. I am soooo like Daenerys.’

But she isn’t the only one. Thousands of wealthy blonde women are travelling the world, pretending to help people without ever taking the time to see them as anything but a stepping stone to their own self-important ambitions. ‘I went to Arfricaaaaaaa.’ said Ambrosia, ‘hoping there would be like, poverty and stuff that I could solve so that I could take pictures with smiling Africaaaaaans like Daenerys does with the slaves. And it worked! They kept shouting ‘dumb fucker’ at me. It was like when the people lifted Daenerys up and kept calling her Mhysa. I assume they mean exactly the same thing.’

Perhaps the most inspiring thing, however, is that this movement isn’t limited to natural blondes. Wealthy peroxided women are eligible too. ‘Daenerys really inspires me’ says Ivanka. ‘She had a totally incapable, dumb as fuck father and she’s really just using that family name for all it’s worth. Is she qualified or competent to actually speak about the things that she speaks about, or to offer leadership on issues in which she has no experience or even the capability to understand? Of course not. But she has a famous family name, blonde hair, nosferatu type skin and a deep sense of self-entitlement that will carry her through. She’s an inspiration to every woman who fills in for her father in major international based purely on family ties. It feels good to tell foreigners how to think.’

Wow. It looks as though Daenerys has changed the lives of these women from being merely extremely privileged and self-entitled, to being extremely privileged and self-entitled and being able to remember small parts of a very long book series and equate it to their own lives. I don’t know if George R. R. Martin knew what an effect his books would have before he wrote them, but now he does. And hopefully that will hearten him, and inspire him to get back to fucking work.

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